A balanced list of a very unbalanced life

Some things I miss:
- kissing, and then some
- someone touching my shoulders, hair and face
- waking up to the smell of coffee
- someone to press my feet
- someone to talk to about EVERYTHING - work, politics, spirituality, pop culture, family, and everything in between
- someone to talk to about nothing
- someone to call me on my bullshit - much harder to do on my own
- not having to get up to get myself things - it's not just about being lazy, but about feeling loved
- someone who cares about all the stupid things
- someone who will do something with me because it's what I want to do and that's the only reason
- someone who knows about the things I don't (like cars) and can take care of those things (so I don't get scammed by the mechanic, which has happened more than once during the past several months)
- someone to teach me new things
- someone who reads the manuals
- being so loved, feeling so loved

Some things I don't miss:
- crying on the bathroom floor
- crying in the kitchen
- crying in the study
- crying in the car
- crying in bed
- the feeling of dread going home
- the feeling of dread as I think about the rest of my life
- feeling like when it came to the most important things, he was always hearing but never listening
- suffocating
- not sleeping (okay, I've still got that issue, but it's a work in progress)
- always feeling sad. always feeling sad. always feeling sad.
- having my younger cousins look at me and say in unison, after I described how I had been feeling, "that's clinical depression"
- not wanting to run, or play music, or spend time with my friends and family
- feeling like I should get pregnant, but praying that I don't get pregnant

That's a tough list. Balanced, I think. I don't think it makes it clear one way or the other if I made the right decision. Maybe I'll never really know.

Head up, young person. Don't look back.