Turning the page

First, I need to put this out there: The purpose of this blog was never intended to be a place where I throw up all the baggage of my personal life. This blog was supposed to be where I write about literature, politics, spirituality, and all of the other things that fill my life, not about the holes that need filling in the first place. Though I will admit - putting it all out there has been cathartic.

Anyway, it's not that the emotional vomit won't continue after today, but I would like to make a concerted effort to bring more into this forum than what has been here for the past couple of months. But I'll start that another day.

For today, I need to get out there another cathartic experience I had. This one has been a long time coming. Over a year. And in situations like this, that is a loooong time. I didn't mean for it to happen, and I never expected it to happen, not on this day, with this person, but it did. And it was great. Here's why:

I knew that this for me would be an emotional experience. It wasn't just about getting it over with and moving on. I was so scared that I would cry, that I continued to postpone it. That, plus, I really hadn't spent time with anyone who was worth the time and effort this would take.

But then...I have this friend. And he's the lovliest person you'll ever know. He's kind and good and trustworthy. He's honest and sincere and full of integrity. I trust him completely. And a week ago, when we were spending some time together and a tender moment turned into a passionate moment, I let it happen. I told him what it meant to me, and he couldn't have handled it better. And now that's one more chapter in my old life I can close the book on, and one more chapter in my new life I can open the page to. It doesn't matter what happens in the future - I wouldn't have changed this for the world. It was worth waiting for.